Where cell phones are concerned
by Shoumai
Summary: AU fic. "That had been both expected and unexpected all at once. However, today's' current menace lie in something else entirely, that irritating gadget known as -I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt- A cell phone."


A/N: Okay, let me start this off by saying the odds of OOC are HIGH with this story. It is semi AU as I am ignoring the end of season 2 altogether. I haven't even watched the ending yet; I just know Alois through a little of the anime and LOTS of other forms of research. So his level of crazy may not be spot-on. (bows) I humbly apologize for any screw-ups.

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><p><strong>Where Cell Phones Are Concerned<strong>

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><p>There were many things about the 21st century that Claude had not quite seen coming. He and Sebastian living in the same town and working in the same place without trying to kill each other was most definitely one of them.<p>

The universe had a very warped sense of humor when it came to these sorts of things. It wasn't like there was any point in furthering their past quarrels – not when Ciel and Alois went to the same school and were something like friends.

And that was another thing Claude had had no chance of predicting. He had been looking for Alois for some time and there were any number of ways he may have ended up finding him (for example, another contract taking place which **also** wouldn't be kept by the time they got to the end of it), but bumping into the boy by chance because he had been asked to fill in as an English teacher was certainly not one of them.

_Claude walked into the room only to spot a very familiar boy with blond hair and piercing, icy blue eyes seated somewhere near the front of the class. As if feeling the stare on him, said student glanced up and looked at Claude intently, a bored expression all the while lingering on his face. He had his elbows on top of his desk while kicking his legs back and forth at a leisure pace, looking for all the world like he had so long ago during his lessons in the mansion._

_Seated next to him was another very familiar boy who looked infinitely more bored, his eyes clearly stated that there was no hidden interest in this class and he just wanted the bell to ring already. _

Given the massive shock that it was, Claude thought he took it rather well. Either he had been a lot more obvious than he'd thought or Alois' soul held onto things from past lives well, because the boy was the one to seek Claude again, not the other way around.

_"Hey, who are you?" The blond boy in a very significant amount of purple more so demanded than asked._

_"Weren't you taught to avoid speaking with strangers?" Claude returned calmly. He had no way of knowing how Alois' background may have differed from the last time, so it was best to act something like normal._

_Alois scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Do I really look like the type who gives a shit?" He asked, pointing a finger at himself._

'_Well, at least that hasn't changed.'_

_"Besides, you subbed for our teacher – how dangerous can you be?"_

_'You'd be surprised.' That was what Claude was sorely tempted to say but instead opted for ignoring the question altogether._

_"I'm not leaving until you tell me, you know." How Alois had found his address was beyond Claude, but the boy had invited himself in as soon as the door was open and was now flopped down on his couch._

_"I said it to all of you during class that day. It's Faustus."_

_Alois leaned forward and glared. "That's just your last name – I want to know the rest of it." He argued. He seemed to have gained a little in the way of patience but it certainly wasn't much, and Claude could already tell by the tapping of the blond's slender fingers that he was dangerously close to triggering a temper tantrum._

_Relenting, he offered up the desired answer. "Claude."_

_Alois instantly perked up at that. "See, was that so hard?" His grin was somewhat mocking but that was something Claude could live with. After years without the somewhat psychotic blond he had begun to miss the little things. "Now you can have my name, it's – " He was cut off before he got to finish._

_"Alois." Claude's voice interrupted smoothly. It was quite possible that that wasn't it any more, but he simply needed the name out of his system. Odds were it was what he was going to be calling the boy anyway._

_The boy blinked his wide, startled eyes. "How did you know that?"_

_"Every student is on file." Claude lied easily. It had just been chance that that was the boy's name this time around and he honestly had no clue what his last name was. But Alois didn't need to know that._

_"Wow," Alois was smirking again. "I don't know if I should be flattered or concerned that you bothered to look me up."_

_"Take it as you will."_

_"Is that an offer?"_

It had just kept going from that. Claude wasn't one for being gentle and nurturing so he really just ended up dropping hints as they went and let Alois piece it together for himself. By the time that it became obvious to someone that Claude wasn't human, most people would have flipped and severed contact. Alois just found it an amusing thing to play with when he was bored. 'Just what **were** Claude's limit' was easily his favorite game.

That had been both expected and unexpected all at once. However, today's current menace lie in something else entirely, that irritating gadget known as –

"_I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt."_

A cell phone. He sighed and quickly flipped the silly thing open to shut it up. It looked like Alois had changed his ringtone when he wasn't looking. Again.

This was the sixth text he'd gotten in the last hour and ignoring them any longer might prove hazardous to his health as soon as Alois got his hands on him. 'No avoiding it, then.'

_CLAUDE! Stop fricking ignoring me - I know u have ur phone so answer me dammit!_

Oh yes, Alois was royally pissed. Maybe he should have answered the last one after all. Still, Alois would text him frequently whether he sent a message back every time or not. He was just about to compose a reply when _Barbie Girl_ started playing obnoxiously loudly at him, signaling that he had a call.

"Hello?"

"_Oh, so now you're picking up."_ The voice on the other end of the line snapped.

"I was just about to send a response message." Claude tried to reply evenly.

_"Well I sure as hell hope that it wasn't to the first text I sent. No one is that damn slow."_

Claude was about to answer but Alois interrupted.

_"Forget it. Now – WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?"_ The blond screeched.

Claude automatically snapped the phone back to arms' length to avoid going deaf in that ear. "Almost back to the apartment."

There was huff. "_Well you better be. And stop talking in fucking monotone! Why the hell do you think I wanted your phone number – so you could ignore me and then talking in that Spock voice? I swear to Heaven that you are __**so**__ damn lucky I'm not a bitch or else I'd really be letting you have it!"_

Great, he had started ranting. There was nothing to do but let him wind down a bit and then try to get a word in edgewise. Honestly, he had just been out running errands – Alois hadn't even shown up yet. Speaking of that... "Alois..."

" –_ and you can consider yourself lucky if you get any sex __**at all**__ this week – I don't care if you are hot. Hell, you might even have to sleep by your-fucking-__**self**__ for this stunt. Do you know how I __**feel**__ not knowing where you are?"_

"Alois." Claude said firmly. It was rare for him to speak like that but desperate times called for desperate measures.

_"Wh-what?"_ If asked later, Alois would resolutely deny that he was startled by that and that the stutter was simply due to breathlessness.

"Did you remember to use your key to get into the apartment? Picking the lock or breaking in could get you hurt or alarm the neighbors, possibly both."

_"Yes, Claude. I used the spare key. I didn't know you were going to ignore me or I would have picked the fucking lock."_

"You shouldn't swear so much. It makes a bad impression on people."

_"You think I care?"_

Claude turned his own key into the lock and opened the door. A quick scan of the room showed Alois to be nowhere in sight. 'Must be in the bedroom then.'

_"Claaauude? You there? You better not be ignoring me again."_

Claude stood by the doorframe. Sure enough, there was Alois lying on his stomach on the bed, facing away from the door and holding his cell phone in one hand as he talked. The way his blond hair glistened in the light and the fact that he wearing one of Claude's white shirts implied that Alois had taken a shower. That might have been a part of Alois was so mad that Claude had ignored him. "Turn around, Alois."

As soon as blue eyes registered the figure standing by the door, the cell was dropped in favor of hugging the dark-haired man. "Claude!"

Claude hung up his phone and placed his free hand on Alois' head. "I'm back."

Alois looked up at him with somewhat watery eyes. Oh **crap**, had he hit one of the blond's emotional landmines?

"I'll let it go this time Claude, but you in are deep shit if you pull a stunt like this again."

Claude's lips crafted up into a faint smirk. "If you don't watch your language I may be inclined to wash your mouth out."

Alois' eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't dare."

Moving swiftly, Claude captured the boy's still-parted lips in a deep French kiss.

He had never said with **what **after all.

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><p>End<p> 


End file.
